What go the magician of Oz have to offer us as soon as it pertains to rebuilding trust? 3 things: a brain, a heart, and courage.

You are watching: Who needed a brain in the wizard of oz

During a recent TrustWorks! training class for a client, i was top participants with a process of crafting an summary for holding a conversation with someone to address the state that low trust in your relationship. In ~ one suggest a participant asked, “Do civilization really carry out this? ns can’t imagine having a conversation through someone and saying ‘I don’t trust you."”

That question triggered a rich conversation on the emotional courage and an individual maturity it takes to attend to issues of short or damaged trust in a relationship. As I’ve thought about courage, the picture of the Cowardly Lion indigenous the sorcerer’s of Oz keeps popping right into my mind. Not to over-simplify the complicated and difficult issue that rebuilding trust, i think the Scarecrow, Tinman, and Cowardly Lion offer some insights into what it takes to resolve issues of to trust in relationships.

Dorothy: “How have the right to you speak if friend don’t have actually a brain?”Scarecrow: “I don’t know…But some civilization without brains perform an awful lot of talking…don’t they?” 

A Brain – You need to be smart around the means you method the instance when you’re rebuilding trust. I wouldn’t recommend opening the conversation by speak “I don’t trust you.” prior to engaging in a conversation, you must think with the reasons why friend don’t trust someone. Ask you yourself a series of “why” concerns to narrow down the reason of low to trust to particular behaviors. When you do have the conversation, use “I” language to take ownership of your very own feelings and also to reduced defensiveness with the other person. Save the conversation focused on the certain behaviors the are resulting in low trust quite than attack the personality of the various other person. Going into a conversation to talk about trust problems without being all set is a recipe for disaster.

Dorothy: “Goodbye Tinman. Oh, don’t cry! You’ll rust therefore dreadfully.”Tinman: “Now I recognize I’ve got a heart ’cause it’s breaking…”

A Heart – trust is developed when you show care and also concern because that others. If friend don’t care for the high quality of your connection with someone, it will be hard to construct or rebuild trust through that person. I’m no saying it’s a necessity to have a deep, personal relationship v someone in bespeak to have a high level of trust, however you do need to recognize and appreciate the worth of the relationship, both to you and the various other person. As part of your preparation to deal with an problem of short trust, do a perform of features you evaluate in the various other person and also reasons you worth your relationship. When managing trust issues, it’s easy to only focus on the negative aspects that the relationship and also disregard all the hopeful things that may exist.

Cowardly Lion: “All right, I’ll go in there because that Dorothy. Angry Witch or no wicked Witch, safety or no guards, I’ll tear them apart. I may not come out alive, but I’m going in there. There’s just one point I want you fellows come do.” Tinman, Scarecrow: “What’s that?” Cowardly Lion: “Talk me out of it!”

Courage – Addressing an concern of short or broken trust can be a challenging task that requires a high degree of an individual maturity and also emotional courage. Courage have the right to come in countless different shapes and also sizes. Once speaking of this topic, Winston Churchill said “Courage is what it takes to was standing up and also speak; vessel is likewise what that takes come sit down and listen.” depending upon your duty in the situation, you may need come muster up the vessel to execute the speaking, or you may need come humble you yourself to perform the listening. If the situation is simply too sensitive for girlfriend to attend to on your own, seek out the aid of a standard third-party to aid mediate or facilitate the discussion.

See more: How Long Are Scallops Good For, How Long Do Scallops Last In The Fridge

We all wish that rebuilding to trust was as simple as see the magician of Oz and having that bestow on united state a medal or proclamation the solves ours problem. Rebuilding to trust isn’t that easy, but it is possible if us courageously and also intelligently method the case with care and concern to restore the connection on hard ground.